Sports is the toy department of human life. --Howard Cosell

A true sports fan is one who can leave a game, and asks, 'What cheerleaders?' --Al Bart

American professional athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity.  --Gordie Howe, 1975

As a manager, you always have a gun to your head.  It's a question of whether there is a bullet in the barrel.  --Kevin Keegan, 1995

Behind every sportsman in America stands a lawyer. --James K. Coyne

Books had instant replay long before televised sports. --Bert Williams

Competition is the spice of sports; but if you make spice the whole meal you'll be sick. --George Leonard

Every day you guys look worse and worse.  And today you played like tomorrow.  --John Mariucci

Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot.  Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor.  --Abe Lemons

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.  --Sam Snead, about golf

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up.  I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball.  I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football.  And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.  --Jay Leno

I would have thought that the knowledge that you are going to be leapt upon by half-a-dozen congratulatory, but sweaty team-mates would be inducement not to score a goal.  --Arthur Marshall

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.  --George Brett, 1986

If horses can't eat it, I won't play on it.  --Dick Allen

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?  --Vince Lombardi

If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems.  You'll be dead a lot.  --Dean Smith

I'm a Hollywood writer, so I put on my sports jacket and take off my brain. --Ben Hecht

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.  --H.L. Mencken

It may be that all games are silly.  But then, so are humans.  --Robert Lynd

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. --Mark Twain

It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.  --Sandy Lyle

One day of practice is like one day of clean living.  It doesn't do you any good.  --Abe Lemmons

The more I practice, the luckier I get.  --Jerry Barber, about golf

The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle.  --Author Unknown

The trouble with referees is that they just don't care which side wins.  --Tom Canterbury

The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order.  --Neville Cardus

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.  --Vince Lombardi

Winning is overrated.  The only time it is really important is in surgery and war.  --Al McGuire