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The Lighter Side of Sports

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The Lighter Side of Sports

Sports is the toy department of human life.
--Howard Cosell

A true sports fan is one who can leave a game, and asks, 'What cheerleaders?'
--Al Bart

American professional athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity. 
--Gordie Howe, 1975

As a manager, you always have a gun to your head.  It's a question of whether there is a bullet in the barrel. 
--Kevin Keegan, 1995

Behind every sportsman in America stands a lawyer.
--James K. Coyne

Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
--Bert Williams

Competition is the spice of sports; but if you make spice the whole meal you'll be sick.
--George Leonard

Every day you guys look worse and worse.  And today you played like tomorrow. 
--John Mariucci

Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot.  Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor. 
--Abe Lemons

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles. 
--Sam Snead, about golf

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up.  I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball.  I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football.  And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee. 
--Jay Leno

I would have thought that the knowledge that you are going to be leapt upon by half-a-dozen congratulatory, but sweaty team-mates would be inducement not to score a goal. 
--Arthur Marshall

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. 
--George Brett, 1986

If horses can't eat it, I won't play on it. 
--Dick Allen

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? 
--Vince Lombardi

If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems.  You'll be dead a lot. 
--Dean Smith

I'm a Hollywood writer, so I put on my sports jacket and take off my brain.
--Ben Hecht

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. 
--H.L. Mencken

It may be that all games are silly.  But then, so are humans. 
--Robert Lynd

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
--Mark Twain

It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose. 
--Sandy Lyle

One day of practice is like one day of clean living.  It doesn't do you any good. 
--Abe Lemmons

The more I practice, the luckier I get. 
--Jerry Barber, about golf

The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. 
--Author Unknown

The trouble with referees is that they just don't care which side wins. 
--Tom Canterbury

The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. 
--Neville Cardus

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. 
--Vince Lombardi

Winning is overrated.  The only time it is really important is in surgery and war. 
--Al McGuire

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